I Solemnly Swear I Am Up To No Good

After a brief (ahem!) hiatus of a year and a half, here I am, back with a whole lot of crap to write about!

Where did I disappear off to? Ugh, don't ask! The last two years have been high on emotional drama and zilch on creative thinking and writing. Major part of the year was spent on staring vacantly at the ceiling or watching reruns of Desperate Housewives, Friends and Bones or both. The remaining was spent on bitching about a job I hate (and still do, by the way). But as they say, time flies and brings with it new hope. I haven't been completely quiet, mind you. No, siree! I have been feeding my brain with some of the most wonderful literature from my library (NOT to be read as Mills and Boon or Nora Roberts or Archie's :D), providing my vocabulary and thoughts constant nourishment.

Although, I still can't believe my last post was 'how to smuggle a bomb into my office'. Ah, the ways of the human mind... :-\

Anyway, hear all! I am ready to begin the wonderful journey of sharing my knowledge and wisdom with y'all! With a new blogger background too! :D

I hereby declare - I solemnly swear I am up to no good!

Watch out!

For Your Eyes Only

Disclaimer – This is just for fun, taking a satirical poke at the practices here. None of the points are to be taken seriously or implemented. It is just to show the level of irresponsibility and lack of duty here (as in both the building and India). We Indians are used to taking things for granted and settling for sub-standard quality in everything that we never question it or hope for something better, neither do we try to correct our ways. This is just one means of pointing that out.

This post briefly describes ways to smuggle a piece of bomb into my office building. However, keeping in mind the “security and other reasons”, I refrain from mentioning the name of the company/building I work in. All you people in office who are reading this, hushhhhh.. ;)

So, it’s like this. Every morning, no scratch that, every time I enter my office building in my vehicle, doesn’t matter what time it is, my vehicle is checked by the security guard at the entrance with a detector.

There was this time when Ramya and I wanted to go out. We exited the building from the rear only to discover that it was super cloudy outside. We ditched our plan and decided to get back to office. There are really ‘strict’ rules here about the entries and exits. So we had to go all the way around the building and enter through the front exit. And guess what? The security guard stopped us for checking the boot compartment. Yeah, yeah, he is just doing his duty, and I would welcome that wholeheartedly. But how?

Once out of pure frustration at being asked to get off and open the seat for their scrutiny, I told them they already checked it in them morning so why do it again. His reply was a typical Indian one – “Because if I don’t sir will get angry”, indicating his superior.

This is how their routine check goes – for bikes, they don’t stop them for checking unless the person is carrying a bag. Even if they do the sensor flies for a second about half a foot away from the bag. For other two-wheelers, they check underneath the seat. By checking I mean just randomly run the detector whilst admiring the view outside or look at something interesting near the gate. For cars, well this is the interesting part, they run the detector inside the rear (randomly, as above) and hold the mirror underneath the car for a few seconds whether they look into it or not.

What an absolute waste of time! I mean, why do it if it is going to be of no use? It’s not like they understand the significance of their responsibility or the importance of their duty. Directly or indirectly, the safety of the thousands that occupy the building lie on their shoulders and the reason they do it is because “their sir will get angry”?!

Anyway, let me not digress. Back to what this post is actually about.

There are many easy, innovative and creative ways to smuggle a bomb into our building. I am just jotting down those that I can think of. You are welcome to suggest more. ;)

1. Simple and straight (a) – Hide it beneath the raincoat and other stuff inside your seat and pray that their sensor is a fake (which it should be mostly, going by its looks).

2. Simple and straight (b) – This one should be easy for guys. They don’t check you unless you have a bag. So you can just hide it inside your shirt or pant or both!

3. Simple and straight (c) – This one is for all you people who come in cars. You can hide it under you car seat, inside the glove compartment, along with your water bottles… need I say more. You have the maximum options! :P

4. If you want to enjoy some fun, you can make it more creative. You and your friend can plan it together. One of you can plant a decoy, so that the other can walk in happily with the bomb in their bag while all attention is on your friend. For the decoy – you can keep a jack-in-the-box that will bounce out once the rear of your car or the seat of the bike is opened and hit the guard on his face. Pow! That should surely scare him out his wits and alert him to look for more!

5. Just when your vehicle reaches the gate, you can bring it to a grunting stop and pretend to kick it with all your might to make it start. Pretend to struggle for a few more minutes, heave a huge and audible sigh, and start walking inside, pushing the bike along. Have the puss-in-boots-sad look on your face and the security guy will open the gate for you (No kidding, cross my heart. Happened to me once (no pretension). Sad part is, none of the guys had the decency or courtesy to come and help me with it. I had to call Ramya all the way down to help me. One of them actually had the gall to ask ‘Enna panreenga madam’ as if I was there to admire the view).

6. Tell them you forgot your id card and look really lost and tensed. They will either ask you to park your vehicle in the visitors’ park, in which case they won’t check, or they will let you in with some reproaches and directions, in which case they might not check.

7. Pretend that you got a call from your manager just as you are entering and talk very busily, loudly and in a hurried manner over the phone, as if you are running really late for an important meeting and if you lose the client it will be the security guard’s fault.

8. Tell them you have just come to visit the food court. They will let you straight in without checking your vehicle or bag. Only you have to park in the visitors’ parking lot. But, what the hell. Kuch paane ke liye kuch khona padtha hai. :D

This is all I can think of for now. Happy smuggling! :P

Duh!

1. Honking loudly or trying to overtake a vehicle standing at a signal or in the traffic is not going to miraculously create a path for you. There is a reason why the people in the front are standing. Much as you may like to think that way, they are not fools and neither is it their hobby to stand in the middle of a vehicle-infested-polluted-road under the mid-morning sun.
2. When you need to go up, press the upward arrow on the lift and vice versa. Pressing it in both directions is only going to make its arrival slower. Also, hitting the button constantly is not going to increase its speed. It will still arrive only when it does.
3. When I am walking right behind you at almost your pace, I am NOT admiring your beautiful behind. I just need to go to the restroom (really soon) and your obstructive jaywalk is not helping my situation. So do not give me that weird look every time you turn behind.
4. This is for all the aunties I have known in my life – yes, I am ‘so and so’s’ daughter and yes I have grown up so much so fast. The next time you see me at a wedding, please do not exclaim ‘Bhavani ponna idhu?! Ennamaa valandhutaa!’ (Is this Bhavani’s daughter? God how she has grown!), although you might have seen me just a few months ago at another wedding. I would really like to see any one of your sons or daughters who hasn’t grown five feet tall in twenty years.
5. When I am entering through the office doors with my bags, yes I have just come to office. Please do not waste your energy by saying ‘Oh you’re just coming to office!’ Instead, you can utilize your energy well by, say, commenting on how good I look that day. ;)
6. It is raining outside. I am entering home wet. Of course I got drenched in the rain. I did not suddenly decide to take a shower with my clothes on, on the way. Asking ‘Mazhaila nananjiya?!’ (Got wet in the rain?!), is not exactly the wisest thing to do when I am already fuming at my luck that it starts raining exactly halfway down my drive home.
7. Me to my mom – Can you tell me the directions to this Kalyana madapam? Please give me some landmarks ‘cos I don’t know the road names for most places.
My mom – Okay. Do you know Chamiers road?
8. When I applied for work as a school teacher, the principal over the phone (in impeccable English) – You will be handling the second and third grade math and English. Please be prepared for a demo class when you come here for the interview.
When I went there, after looking through my resume – Hmm… so a software engineer wants to become a teacher. Would you be interested in ninth and tenth physics or chemistry?
Me – But I was told I would be handling second and third math and English. Besides, since I do not have teaching experience I would prefer to start with the smaller grades.
At the demo – You will be teaching fourth grade math. Good luck!
A week later over phone – There is a crash Montessori course. It would be very helpful to teach kindergarten. Would you like to take it up?
My mind inside, as I answer her calmly that it’s okay, I am not interested - Make up your mind people! If our educators are going to be like this I can’t imagine the plight of our poor children!

P.S. I Love You...

The sucker for romantic movies that I am, I decided to compile a list of some of the most romantic dialogues that I have come across. These are movies that I love and have watched again and again and again… well, you get it.. :)

When Harry Met Sally

Harry: I love that you get cold when it's seventy degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend a day with you I can still smell your perfume on my clothes, and I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.

Runaway Bride

Ike: Look, I guarantee that we'll have tough times. And I guarantee that at some point, one or both of us will want to get out of this thing. But I also guarantee that if I don't ask you to be mine I'll regret it for the rest of my life. Because I know in my heart, you're the only one for me.

You've Got Mail

Joe: You know, sometimes I wonder...

Kathleen: What?

Joe: Well... if i hadn't been "Fox Books" and you hadn't been "The Shop Around the Corner," and you and I had just met...

Kathleen: I know.

Joe: Yeah, yeah. I would've asked for your number. And I wouldn't have been able to wait 24 hours before calling you up and saying, Hey, how about... oh, how about some coffee, or drinks, or dinner, or a movie... for as long as we both shall live?

Ghost

Molly: Sam, can you feel me?

Sam: With all my heart.

Sweet November

Nelson: I surrender all attempts to control life, yours or mine. I live for one thing, to make you happy; to live firmly and joyously in the moment. November is all I know, and all I ever want to know.

Madagascar Escape 2 Africa:

Probably the best romantic dialogue in an animated film...

Melman (to Moto Moto about Gloria): Listen, Mototo, you better treat this lady like a queen. Because you, my friend, you found yourself the perfect woman. If I was ever so lucky to find the perfect woman, I'd give her flowers every day. And notjust any flowers. OK? Her favorites are orchids. White. And breakfast in bed. Six loaves of wheat toast, butter on both sides. No crust, the way she likes it. I'd be her shoulder to cry on and her best friend. I'd spend every day thinking of how to make her laugh. She has the most amazing laugh. That's what I would do if I were you. But I'm not, so you do it. OK.

Melman (to Gloria before jumping into the volcano): I want you to know, back at the zoo, it was never the doctors or prescriptions that kept me going. It was always you. Seeing you every day. That's what kept me going.

Gloria: Melman! Wait! Melman, I gotta know... did you mean those things you said about me?

Melman: Of course I did.

Gloria: That's crazy.

Melman: It is?

Gloria: It's crazy to think I had to go halfway around the world... to find out the perfect guy for me lived right next door.

Pretty Woman

Edward: Vivian! Vivian! Princess Vivian ! Come down !

Vivian looks out of her window.

Edward (who is scared of heights): Had to be the top floor, right ?

Vivian: It's the best.

Edward: All right. I'm coming up. (climbs the fire escape ladder)

Edward: So what happened after he climbed up the tower and rescued her?

Vivian: She rescues him right back.

Saved the best for last…

P.S. I Love You

Gerry: Dear Holly, I don't have much time. I don't mean literally, I mean you're out buying ice cream and you'll be home soon. But I have a feeling this is the last letter, because there is only one thing left to tell you. It isn't to go down memory lane or make you buy a lamp, you can take care of yourself without any help from me. It's to tell you how much you move me, how you changed me. You made me a man, by loving me Holly. And for that, I am eternally grateful... literally. If you can promise me anything, promise me that whenever you're sad, or unsure, or you lose complete faith, that you'll try to see yourself through my eyes. Thank you for the honor of being my wife. I'm a man with no regrets. How lucky am I. You made my life, Holly. But I'm just one chapter in yours. There'll be more. I promise. So here it comes, the big one. Don't be afraid to fall in love again. Watch out for that signal, when life as you know it ends. P.S. I will always love you.

Holly: Dear Gerry, you said you wanted me to fall in love again, and maybe one day I will. But there are all kinds of love out there. This is my one and only life, And its a great and terrible and short and endless thing, and none of us come out of it alive. I don't have a plan... except, it's time my mom laughed again. She has never seen the world... she has never seen Ireland. So, I'm taking her back where we started... Maybe now she'll understand. I don't know how you did it, but you brought me back from the dead. I'll write to you again soon. P.S... Guess what?

Raavan Ko Behene De…

The minute I heard that the music of Raavan was out, I was at the computer downloading it. Not unusual considering my behaviour every time one of Rahman’s albums is released. He is one composer who never ceases to amaze me. Anyone who knows me knows how crazy I am about him and his music.

Anyway, what more do you need from an album that says ‘Direction: Mani Ratnam; Music: A R Rahman’? The very combination spells undoubted success. You can confirm that by going back and listening to their 9 albums that have come out over the years.

Listening to Raavan was like having the music flow through me, an uninhibited and spontaneous burst of music. My first thought was how different it was from his usual style. Well, knowing Rahman, is there a particular style that he does follow? :P

The first song, Beera, is like a breath of fresh air as far as folk songs are considered. This peppy, folky number, which I assume is Abhishek’s introduction, only iterates what Rahman can do with new talent. The very fact that he has used Vijay Prakash for an introduction song in the place of Sukhwinder Singh or Kailash Kher proves that more than just brand-name is required to churn a hit. ‘Who says only they can do justice to it? We can too’, is written all over it. Keerthi Sagathia’s voice is a welcome surprise. Trust him to give participants of reality music shows their well deserved break. :)

The next track, Behne De, is very obviously a song about breaking-free from the bondages set by society and life. Karthik’s voice is at its usual best. It has a very lilting tune with a burst of music in some places and is a good one to listen to when one is in deep thought or philosophical mode. Very good orchestration, indeed.

Next, is what I would say one of the best so far. Thok Di Killi by Sukhwinder Singh is, well, wow! It has Sukhi’s usual style of singing, but what make it amazing are the lyrics and the music. The song follows a rhythm till the end, along the lines of Jai Ho that makes you nod your head, dancing ishtyle. :)

Ranjha Ranjha is another amazing rendition by Rekha Bardhwaj, Javed Ali and Anuradha Sriram. This song starts a little like Maiyya Maiyya, but moves on to prove that it’s different. It’s like this romantic song that has a teasing and mischievous undertone. Something like Sandakozhi from Ayitha Ezhuthu, the mood similar to Raat ke Dhai Bhaje from Kaminey. A song that will make one smile thinking of their loved one.

Khili Re by Reena Bhardwaj, is a song that you would want to listen at the night in the darkness of your room, just lying down and closing your eyes. It transports you to this really calm world where nothing but love rules. The pieces of classical music in the background give it a very ethereal feel. Reena’s voice flows effortlessly, making us flow with it. For a person of British origin, she has done complete justice to it, announcing to the world of her roots. Hope she sings more in the future.

The last song has come so soon. :( Kata Kata by Ila Arun, Sapna Awasthi and Kunal Ganjawala, is that taunting song sung by friends announcing their dear friend’s exit from bachelorhood, something like Yaaro Yaarodi. Brings a smile to your face, dunnit? :)

The very first line ‘Kata Kata Bechara Bakra’ sums it all up. The rhythm of the song would not fail to catch your attention. The beat is a kinda similar to Rukumani Rukumani and the opening tune kinda similar to that of Dhol Baje from Yuva/Ayitha Ezhuthu, yet different in its own way, making it a very upbeat number. The very less often heard voices of Ila Arun and Sapna Awasthi show yet again what they are capable of. Their voices lend an unadulterated folk feel to the song. An absolute fun and catchy number, on the whole.

Left to me, I would say all of Rahman’s compositions are gems. :P But seriously, this album slaps onto your face the proof to all his fame and acclaim, making you say ‘Man he does deserve it.’ I doubt any other composition would encompass such a wide variety of music, solely for the sake of the power of music, rather than just mass appeal.

Bottomline – Catch it! Not one to miss. :)

I'd Like My News With A Pinch Of Salt, Please...

Although reading is my passion, I am not really an early-morning-newspaper-and-coffee kind of girl. When I was in school, I was told that it is a good habit to know what's happening around us and it improves our English reading/speaking etc. skills. So began my initial tryst with The Hindu. Every morning I made it a point to read at least the first page. It didn't take too much time to realise that it did nothing but spoil your mood for the rest of the day. Neither was reading about the latest political drama or fire accidents/train collisions informative or uplifting, nor were the spelling and grammatical errors doing anything to improve my English.

Later, in college, I got into the habit of reading the newspaper in the evening. When you have already faced the worst, what can a news about a corrupt politician caught in an IT raid do to make you feel like the whole world's dark? :P Besides, there were quiet a few good articles, both informative and written beautifully, in the inside pages, by guest writers like Sashi Tharoor (too bad he prefers Tweeting now. :P And too bad there aren't more such articles.) etc..

I hope nobody from my office reads this, but the morning of my interview, for some reason I pulled out the paper at the last minute and glanced through the last page. And wonder of wonders, the guy actually asked me 'So, you say you like reading. Have you read the paper today?', and I went 'Why, of course! There was this article about blah blah. I mean, what's that!', and he goes 'I know! Blah blah...' :D

Whether we like reading or not, the minute we hear something juicy or out of the ordinary, we want to know more. Our curiosity is sparked, and even those who do not touch a book lest they scar their fingers, grab the paper to get to the details as quickly as they can. Take the recent Swami Nityananda controversy for example. I have never been a big fan of anybody with the 'Swami' tag (except, of course, for Swami Vivekananda, but he belonged to an entirely different league). I had heard and seen his name on posters once or twice before, but the minute this news got out, I wanted to know who that 'R' female was! :P I am sure there are a lot of people out there like this.

Controversies and scandals have never bored people, and they never will. It's like having masala tea instead of boring plain tea. :P It perks up the otherwise boring collection of political drama, theft, murder, etc. that the paper carries everyday. Not that we do not sympathize with the victims, but seriously, such crime has become so common these days that it only makes us smirk and say 'Oh that. Again', rather than gasp with shock and horror.

In this post, is a list of such world famous controversies, ranked from 10 to 1, according to my priority.

Whether they are true or not, I have only this to say - it would serve us better to have faith in ourselves and just the take the good from the rest. Changing the world is next to impossible. Best would be to do what we feel is right, be true to ourselves and not worry about the rest.

See, I could give a sermon and charge a fee too. :P

Anyway, here goes...

10. The Walt Disney Rescuers Controversy.

On January 8, 1999, three days after the film's second release on home video, the Walt Disney Company announced a recall of about 3.4 million copies of the videotapes because there was an objectionable image in one of The Rescuers background cels.

The image in question is a blurry image of a topless woman that appears in two out of the film's more than 110,000 frames. The image appears twice in nonconsecutive frames during the scene in which Miss Bianca and Bernard are flying on Orville's back through New York City. The two images could not be seen in ordinary viewing because the film runs too fast - at 30 frames per second on video.

One of the frozen frames containing a picture of a topless woman in the window.

A Disney spokeswoman said that the images in The Rescuers were placed in the film during post-production, but she declined to say what they were or who placed them...The company said the aim of the recall was to keep its promise to families that they can trust and rely on the Disney brand to provide the best in family entertainment.

9. Controversies over the remains of Hitler.

The controversy surrounding Adolf Hitler’s skull fragments is a little embarrassing for the Russian secret service. In 2000 they presented a skull fragment and a piece of jawbone that they claimed were the remains of the Nazi leader. It was an attempt to quash outlandish rumors that he had escaped alive at the end of Wold War II.

But in October US researchers presented the results of DNA tests on the skull and said it definitely didn't belong to the dictator because it was from a female. Scientists had already harbored doubts about the authenticity of the piece of bone because it was thinner than a male's usually is.

Whether this is true or not, just imagine how it would be if he were indeed alive in some corner of the world, probably 90 years or so old, laughing his head off at these people. :P

8. Nostradamus' Twin Tower prediction.

Nostradamus has been credited with prophesying dozens of pivotal episodes in recent history, including the rise of Adolf Hitler, the assassination of John F. Kennedy and, most recently, the destruction of the World Trade Center towers.

One anonymous message, widely circulated in the United States, claimed that Nostradamus foretold the destruction in some detail. The message included this quatrain:
In the City of God there will be a great thunder,
Two Brothers torn apart by Chaos,
While the fortress endures, the great leader will succumb.
The third big war will begin when the big city is burning.

In fact, this quatrain is not the work of Nostradamus -- it is a complete fabrication. According to Snopes.com, an urban legend information site, the first three lines were taken from an essay written a few years ago by Neil Marshall, then a student at Brock University in Canada. Supposedly, Marshall included the lines in the essay to demonstrate how Nostradamus pieced together general, vague images that could fit with a wide range of events. Apparently, someone picked up the verses from the Web, added an extra line and distributed the quatrain over the Internet.

Despite these critics' arguments, Nostradamus is more popular than ever. Immediately following the September 11 attack, Nostradamus books climbed to the top of Amazon.com's sales list, and shot off bookstore shelves all around the country.

People probably just need it to console themselves that such events were predicted and hence, unevitable. :P

7. The Bill Clinton Impeachment.

Widely considered the most investigated President ever, the Clinton administration has been dogged by controversy from the very beginning. But I am only going to highlight what brought him to the end of his term. (You can catch the rest here.)

In July of 1995, a temporary shutdown of the U.S. government occurred when the Republican-controlled Congress refused to appropriate federal funds due to political squabbling over President Clinton's budget. Thus most paid White House staffers stayed home. Lewinsky, still an unpaid intern when the shutdown occurred, showed up for work in Panetta's West Wing office on November 15, 1995. On that day, President Clinton strolled into the office for an informal birthday gathering at which Lewinsky openly flirted with him. Clinton then invited Lewinsky back to his private study, located adjacent to the Oval Office. And that, was when it all began.

On April 5, 1996, Lewinsky was transferred against her will to a public affairs position at the Pentagon, thus removing her from close proximity to the President. At the Pentagon, an unhappy Lewinsky struck up a friendship with Linda Tripp, who had also been transferred out of the White House. Lewinsky proceeded to confide intimate details of her extraordinary relationship with the President, which was still ongoing. Tripp then began secretly tape-recording Lewinsky's often-emotional telephone conversations.

And the rest, as they say, is history...

6. The Indian National Anthem.

Are we still singing for the Empire? This question has been widely asked of late. The reason? The circumstances under which history shows our national anthem was first sung, and how it became popular.

The poem was composed in December 1911, precisely at the time of the Coronation Durbar of George V. The composition was first sung during a convention of the then loyalist Indian National Congress in Calcutta on Dec. 16, 1911. The belief gained ground that the poem had been written in honour of the visiting monarch. Rabindranath Tagore, however, wrote that the song was in praise of 'That Lord of Destiny, that Reader of the Collective Mind of India, that Perennial Guide, who could never be George V, George VI, or any other George.'

There is also this petition to remove 'Sindh' from the anthem, as it is no longer in India, but Pakistan. And, there is also the controversy that Tagore omitted all the princely states and mentioned only those under direct British rule in the anthem.

Hmm... Really makes one wonder if such trivial things as a few words penned almost a century ago matter more than what we really feel for our country. I mean, Britain still has their anthem that was written during and about the colonial rule, although it isn't colonial anymore. It's what we truly feel inside that should express itself and not such petty things as geography or literature.

5. The Taj Mahal Controversy.

I sometimes feel that we Indians take everything to the extreme.Whatever the incident, we somehow bring in religion and other dividers and create chaos.

Taj Mahal has been one of the most beautiful monuments history has given us. And somehow, instead of revelling in its beauty and enjoying the peace and calm being there brings us, we choose to dig in and find any dirt possible.

'The True Story of the Taj Mahal', by P.N. Oak (from Pune) raised a lot of questions about the authenticity of its architecture. According to the book, the Taj Mahal was in fact a Shiva temple, known as Tejo Mahalaya which the 5th generation Moghul emperor Shahjahan commandeered from the then Maharaja of Jaipur. He tries to prove this with the results of his research and explanations from ancient documents (check here for more details).

Well, if you ask me, it's like digging a grave for an autopsy. And in the process, separating siblings over inheritance issues. Seriously, even this was proved, it doesn't do much favour, except widen the rift between Hindus and Muslims. Would it be worth it?

4. The King of Pop molestation controversies.

The 1980s brought fame and fortune to the "King of Pop" Michael Jackson, but with stardom came a barrage of tabloid rumors mixed with Jackson’s own bizarre behavior. British tabloids dubbed him "Wacko Jacko" and Jackson began to look the part, in what appeared to be an obsession to alter his face through plastic surgery. Loyal fans stuck by his side until multiple charges of pedophilia were reported and the King of Pop faced with doing real jail time.

In 1993, official allegations were made against Michael for the molestation of a 13-year-old boy. Although Michael went public with his denial of any unlawful relationships with any child, he also decided to settle with the family for close to $20 million. On November 18, 2003 Jackson's Neverland Ranch was searched by 70 investigators in hopes of finding evidence that would corroborate the charges of 13-year-old boy, who told police that Jackson sexually molested him. A warrant for Jackson's arrest was also issued and on November 20, Jackson, who had been out of town during the search, surrendered himself to police.

Jackson was charged with seven counts of child molestation and two counts of administering an intoxicating agent to commit that felony, in February and March 2003, all regarding the same boy under 14.

On June 13, 2005, Michael Jackson was found not guilty of all charges.

Quite a life, I say. He can never tell St. Peter at the Gates that he hasn't seen everything. :P But man, he will always be in our hearts.

3. The Mahatma, and the stir he created.

And here I thought this man was clean as a slate. Well, unlike a lot of people, I admit I haven't been a big fan of his for various reasons. But this news, I came across only recently.

If you haven't heard of Saraladevi Chaudhuri, you're in for a big surprise, just like I was. Rajmohan Gandhi, the Mahatma's grandson, has revealed this in the biography he wrote of the political and spiritual leader. Okay, enough with the suspense.

Apparently, at the age of 50, Gandhi, a married father of four, came perilously close to succumbing to a temptation that threatened both his family, and his life's work, after falling passionately in love with the beautiful Saraladevi Chaudhuri, three years his junior.

Gifted, well-informed and driven, Saraladevi was 29 when Gandhi first saw her, in 1901, conducting an orchestra as it played a song she had written for Congress, the party that eventually led India to independence (Despite her accomplishments and wit, the Telegraph refers to her as 'the beauty who bewitched Gandhi, the most dangerous temptress ever faced by Mahatma Gandhi.' I mean, what is it with you guys? Can't you just admit that the biggest of saints can have a slip?? Why degrade the poor woman?). But it was not until she was 47, and married to a newspaper editor, Rambhuj Dutt Chaudhuri, that Gandhi fell for her, while staying at the couple's house in Lahore.
Chaudhuri was in jail for his part in the struggle against the British, and soon after he arrived, Gandhi - by now dedicated to personal celibacy - wrote in a letter: "Saraladevi's company is very endearing… She looks after me very well." Within months he was thinking of their relationship in terms of a "spiritual marriage", according to his grandson – who admits he is unsure what his grandfather meant by this.

Gandhi had been married at 12 to another child, Kastur Kapadia. Their marriage was troubled since, as a young man, Gandhi wanted an intellectual equal, yet Kastur was not only illiterate, but resisted his attempts to educate her.

Clever and cultivated, Saraladevi seemed to provide Gandhi with the companionship he craved. Over the next few months his followers expressed unease at the time he spent talking to her.

"Gandhi was clearly dazzled by her personality and seemed to fantasize that providence desired them to shape India to a new design," writes his grandson in Mohandas: A True Story of a Man, his People and an Empire.

In letters, Gandhi told Saraladevi that he often dreamt of her, and he echoed her husband's compliment that she was a "great shakti", or goddess.

Not everyone appreciated the spiritual benefits of Gandhi's entanglement with a woman who was not his wife. His son Devadas – Rajmohan's father – urged him to pull back.

In the summer of 1920, Gandhi told the heartbroken Saraladevi that their relationship must end because the solely "spiritual marriage" he had imagined for them had become impossible. Gandhi and Saraladevi did not break off all communication, but neither mentioned the other in their autobiographies.

Rajmohan remembers as a child overhearing conversations between his parents about Gandhi's infatuation. "It was referred to as an old man being saved from disaster," he said.

But today, he takes a rather different view of the affair. "Looking back, it was rather a wonderful episode. He was looking for alternative ways of living his life, as we all do from time to time, and struggling, and finding his way. I think this story helps us know him a little better."

Phew! Quite a stir did the man create!

2. Woody Woods, Tiger Woods!

This one needs absolutely no introduction or even details. There couldn't be one living being who doesn't know about this. What's alarming is that, the numbers are continuously rising! The last I saw, it was 15! (In case you are wondering what numbers, I am referring to the women who are coming out of their caves claiming to be his mistress at some point or the other)

The sports star’s career and clean-cut image were rocked last year when news of his numerous affairs behind wife Elin Nordegren’s back hit the headlines.

Last November 27, Woods figured in an early morning vehicular accident near his home in Florida where he suffered minor injuries after his Cadillac SUV hit a fire hydrant. It was reported that a domestic quarrel with his wife regarding Woods affair with other women may have something to do with the accident. The incident triggered a media firestorm surrounding the golfer's personal life. Tabloid pages and the Internet were later filled with speculations about Tiger Woods elicit affair with other women. At least nine women were identified by media who have been in a relationship with the top golfer, and more in line...

As a consequence, Woods is losing out on a lot of endorsements and a congressman from California has decided to drop his proposal to honor Tiger Woods for promoting sportsmanship and breaking down barriers in sports.

He entered a rehab facility before apologising to his family, friends and colleagues in a statement last month.

Whatever it is, I feel it is his personal problem. There is no need for him to explain himself to anybody, especially to gossip mongers, and especially if his athleticism is unaffected. C'mon, it's not like everyone is perfect! Why make a big deal out of it just because he is famous and the tabloids can make money selling the news?!

And, the number one controversy is...

1. THE MOON LANDING CONTROVERSY!

Probably one of the oldest, most talked about and most researched about controversies. It is still debated whether man really landed on moon or not. They say NASA made it up to ensure continued government funding after a series of failed space missions. There are a lot of scientific reasons pointed out as to why that mission could be a hoax.

NASA, on its part, has tried refuting this, but it's kinda hard to believe when the unmanned landings are more in number than the manned landings and the fact that there have been no recent manned landings.

For more technical details as to why it could be fake, well just Google it. There are endless reports.

But, just think about it if it were fake. One of humanity's greatest accomplishments, a historical event, would go right in the bin, questioning man's belief in just about everything.

Hmm... So that was my list of top controversies. Anybody got anything bigger and better, fell free to add!

Happy reading, everyone! The newspaper, I mean. :P

One Drop, Is All It Takes...

Now, this is why I love Rahman. Music truly doesn't need a language to touch you and get the message across.

This here, is his performance to support the cause of One Drop Foundation. The One Drop Foundation is a non-profit organization created by Guy Laliberté, founder of Cirque Du Soleil, to fight poverty worldwide by ensuring that everyone across the planet has access to water, now and in the future.

Besides, he is so cute when he looks shyly into the camera and sings. :D