F.R.I.E.N.D.S - the romantic ones...

Some of the cutest proposals and romantic dialogues ever...

Richard and Monica.
Monica: Did you ever, uh, like, think about the future?
Richard: Sure I do.
Monica: Yeah, am I in it?
Richard: Honey, you are it.

When Phoebe says Monica is high maintenance and Chandler feels so too.
Chandler: I’m sorry. You’re not easy-going, but you’re passionate, and that’s good. And when you get upset about the little things, I think that I’m pretty good about making you feel better about that. And that’s good too. So, they can say that you’re high maintenance, but it’s okay, because I like … maintaining you.

When Mike proposes to Phoebe.
Phoebe: What's the matter with me? How do I keep ruining this? I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
Mike: No! It's my fault. I keep trying to propose in these stupid ways and all I wanna do is tell you that I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
Phoebe, I love you. There's no-one else in the world I would ask to marry me... three times. But I wanna take care of you, have babies with you, and grow old with you... Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me?

When Chandler proposes to Monica.
Chandler: Okay! Okay! Okay! Oh God, I thought… Wait a minute, I-I can do this… I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you… you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. And if you’ll let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. Monica, will you marry me?
Monica: Yes.

When Ross and Rachel get together for good.
Rachel: I do love you.
Ross: I love you too, and I'm never letting you go again.
Rachel: Okay. 'Cause this is where I wanna be, okay? No more messing around. I don't wanna mess this up again.
Ross: Me neither, okay? We are - we're done being stupid.
Rachel: Okay. You and me, alright? This is it.

F.R.I.E.N.D.S!!!!!! (Part 2)

And some more...

The Lightning Round.
Ross: What is Chandler Bing’s job?
Rachel: Oh gosh, it has something to do with numbers.
Monica: And processing.
Rachel: He carries a briefcase.
Ross: 10 seconds, you need this or you lose the game.
Monica: It’s umm, it has something to do with transponding.
Rachel: Oh-oh-oh, he’s a transponce—transpondster!
Monica: That’s not even a word! I can get this! I can get this!
(Ross stops the clock, signifying the end of the lightning round.)
Monica: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

When Janice asks Chandler if she looks fat.
Chandler: Okay, well. Janice said 'Hi, do I look fat today?' And I, I looked at her....
Ross: Whoa, whoa, whoa. You looked at her. You never look. You just answer, it's just a reflex. Do I look fat? Nooo! Is she prettier than I am? Noo! Does size matter?
Rachel: Nooo!
Ross: And it works both ways.

When Rachel says her boss doesn’t like her.
Chandler: That’s weird. I don’t think my boss likes me either.
Monica: I don’t think mine likes me either.
Ross: Maybe it’s a universal thing?
Joey: Or maybe, it’s because you’re hanging around here at 11:30 on a Wednesday.

When Monica says her parents don’t really like Chandler.
Chandler: Hey, I can be pretty charming, babe, I won YOU over, didn’t I?
Monica: I don’t think you’ll ever get my parents that drunk!

When Joey doesn’t tell the others he is working at the coffee house.
Monica: Joey, what’s going on. What didn’t you tell us you work here?
Joey: It’s kind of embarrassing, y’know. I mean, I was an actor and now I’m a waiter. It’s supposed to go in the other direction.
Chandler: So is your apron. You’re wearing it like a cape.

When Barry and Mindy are getting divorced.
Rachel: Hey, you guys! Guess what? Barry and Mindy are getting a divorce!
Joey: (To Ross) What is the matter with you?!
Phoebe: No! Barry and Mindy.
Joey: Oh sorry, I hear divorce I immediately go to Ross.

When Joey has to play a nineteen year old for a commercial.
Joey: But I-I-I can’t stay too long, I gotta get up early for a commercial audition tomorrow and I gotta look good. I’m supposed to be playing a 19-year-old
Chandler: So when you said, "Get up early," did you mean 1986?

When Phoebe writes a song for Monica and Chandler’s wedding.
Phoebe: Check it out. Okay, I can play this when the guests are coming in. Okay. (Singing)
"First time I met Chandler, I thought he was gay.
But here I am singing on his wedding day!"
Monica: Phoebe!
Phoebe: If you would’ve let me finish, it goes on to say that he’s probably not gay.

How a plane stays in the air.
Monica: David, can you help me?! I'm trying to explain to Chandler how a plane stays in the air.
David: Oh, certainly. That's a combination of Bernoulli's principle and Newton's third law of motion.
Monica: (to Chandler) See?
Chandler: Yeah, that's the same as "it has something to do with wind".

When Joey uses the thesaurus on every word of the recommendation letter for the adoption agency.
Joey: Oh, ‘They are warm, nice, people with big hearts’.
Chandler: And that became ‘they are humid prepossessing Homo Sapiens with full sized aortic pumps...?
Joey: Yeah, yeah and hey, I really mean it, dude.
Monica: Hey Joey, I don’t think we can use this.
Joey: Why not?
Monica: Well, because you signed it baby kangaroo Tribbiani.

And the closing dialogue.
Rachel: (crying) Do you guys have to go to the new house right away, or do you have some time?
Monica: We got some time.
Rachel: Okay, should we get some coffee?
Chandler: Sure. Where?

F.R.I.E.N.D.S!!!!! (Part 1)

Being an ardent fan of the comedy series F.R.I.E.N.D.S, I couldn’t help but make a list of my favourite dialogues. This is going to be one long post. So, fellow F.R.I.E.N.D.S lovers, sit back and enjoy. :)

After Rachel cuts all her father’s credit cards.
Monica: Welcome to the real world! It sucks. You're gonna love it!

When Chandler starts smoking again.
Phoebe: Oh, I can't believe you! You've been so good, for three years!
Chandler: And this- is my reward!

What’s omnipotent.
Monica: Hey, Joey, what would you do if you were omnipotent?
Joey: Probably kill myself!
Monica: ..Excuse me?
Joey: Hey, if Little Joey's dead, then I got no reason to live!
Ross: Joey, uh- OMnipotent.
Joey: You are? Ross, I'm sorry..

When they ask Chandler to ask a woman he sees out.
Chandler: Oh yeah, and what would my opening line be? 'Excuse me. Blarrglarrghh.'

The blackout.
Phoebe: Can I borrow the phone? I want to call my apartment and check on my grandma. (to Monica) What's my number?
(Monica and Rachel look at Phoebe strangely.)
Phoebe: Well, I never call me.

When everyone knows the gender of Ross’ baby-to-be-born and he doesn’t want to know. Monica whispers the gender in Joey’s ears and Ross is pissed that everyone knows. It’s a boy.
Monica: I'm sorry, I'm just excited about being an aunt!
Joey: Or an uncle...

Rachel’s new resume.
Ross: Rach, did you proofread these?
Rachel: Uh... yeah, why?
Ross: Uh, nothing, I'm sure they'll be impressed with your excellent compuper skills.
Rachel: Oh my Goood! Oh, do you think it's on all of them?
Joey: Oh no, I'm sure the Xerox machine caught a few.

During a poker game, after Ross comes from the bathroom.
Ross: Alright. Your money's mine, Green.
Rachel: Your fly is open, Geller.

When Monica becomes head chef.
Monica: I'm at work, ordinary day, you know, chop chop chop, saute, saute, saute. All of a sudden, Leon, the manager, calls me into his office. It turns out they fired the head lunch chef, and guess who got the job.
Joey: If it's not you, this is a horrible story.

When Monica starts seeing Richard again.
Chandler: Well, she spent the last six months getting over him, and now she’s celebrating that by going on a date with him.

When Joey talks about a book Rachel is reading.
Joey: Oh, all blank, and no blank, make’s blank a blank blank. Oh no-no-no, no, the end when Jack almost kills them all with that blank, but then at last second they get away. Aww!
Rachel: Joey! I can’t believe you just did that!
Chandler: I can’t believe she cracked your code!

When Joey gets job at the museum.
Joey: No, not really. They give you all the information, it’s uh, it’s like memorizing a script. (Making like a tour guide) "And on your left, you have Tyrannosaurus Rex, a carnivore from the Jurassic period.
Ross: Uh actually Joey, it’s the Cretasous period.
Joey: Yeah but, I can pronounce Jurassic.

When Phoebe decides to become surrogate mother for her brother and his wife.
Phoebe: Well, they said that I had to think about it first, but what is there to think about? I’m gonna be giving them the greatest gift you can possibly give.
Chandler: You’re gonna be carrying their baby and give them a Sony Play Station?

When Monica calls Phoebe at 2 in the morning after breaking up with Richard and cries.
Phoebe: Oh, okay that explains it. I got a call at two in the morning, but all I could hear was, like, this high squeaky sound, so I thought okay it’s like a mouse or a opossum. But then I realized where would a mouse or a opossum get the money to make the phone call.

The Divine Spray

It was a ‘perfect’ start to my ‘perfect’ day.

I woke up this morning in a grumpy mood. Maybe because I had this fight with mom last night. Whatever the reason, I wasn’t in a really great mood. I cursed everything that came in my way. I finally managed to get ready and leave for office – one of the things I cursed.

Driving can be a gruelling task. First there is the traffic. Then, there are our very own Michael Schumachers. Also, there is the ‘clean air’ and the ‘smooth roads’. Even if you manage to get through all this unscathed, the Lord still shows no mercy. He decides to test your will power, patience and endurance.

Which is why he created the sprayers.

He is the common man. He travels by bus, drives a car, rides a bike…. And, he spits.

India, among other things, is a country of pan chewers. Men pride themselves in chewing pan, ghutka, and the like. Well, nothing wrong with that. Especially when it is a matter of pride. What is surprising is that, they pride themselves in spitting it too. Not in their custom spitting bowls, but just about anywhere except that.

It is amazing to see that red projectile come out in that neat trajectory through the bus window. What does it matter if the bus is at a traffic signal and there are people on vehicles nearby? Spitting is my birthright.

I would like to appreciate the people of Kolkata in this. I had gone to Kolkata to visit my dad a year ago. He had picked us from the station and we took a cab home. While we stopped at a signal, I saw this guy in a cab in front of ours open his door. I thought there was probably some problem. Well, believe it or not, there was. He had to spit. So instead of sending his projectile through the window, he opened the door, bent and spat on the road. Not that what he did was not wrong. He at least didn’t spit on someone else and took care that it was on the road. :P

Today, on my way to office, I got sprayed. Although it wasn’t much, it doesn’t make things okay. This guy in a car spat out and I happened to drive past. Since there was traffic, we were all moving slow. My already grumpy mood got grumpier. I turned and looked at the guy with all my fury. He smiled and said ‘Sorry’! I mean, what was that?! Is that supposed to make me feel better? Am I supposed to completely forget that I got spat on and gracefully say ‘Oh that’s okay. Happens all the time’ with a smile and move on?

Though it wasn’t going to change things, I had to vent my anger. I yelled at him and drove on, leaving the driver with a shocked and angry look on his face. So, in essence, it is okay if they spit on you, albeit accidentally, smile and say sorry. But it is not okay if we get riled up and express our anger and disgust.

To realize that spitting in public places is wrong does not require one to hold a degree. It is a matter of basic cleanliness and respect for our surroundings that people are expected to have. One might argue that if this basic realization were there in people, the world would be a perfect place. I agree. Even if they have to do it, the least they can do is look if there are people around. The thought that one day they might get spit on has to lurk in their minds. For a person who says that it is not acceptable for anybody to spit in public places, I find it more horrifying to see that among them are actually people who are well educated.

It is absolutely useless to hope that this would one day change. Wise would he be who can save himself from being sprayed.

These are the times I bless my helmet. I hate wearing it in this sweltering heat, but it at least saves my head from the missiles that are launched from the buses. :P

God, you have taught me the value of patience, endurance and will power. For, had I not possessed these, I would have turned into an unstoppable murderer long ago.

Why We Do What We Do

Warning: This is a serious post. Read at your own risk.

Ever wondered why we do the things that we do? Nah.. I didn't think so..

We often take a lot of things for granted. We fall into a system. Who invented the system? It was invented by a couple of people like us. This is what we tend to forget or ignore. Who said we should wake up early, do our chores, pray, study, be a good girl/boy, blah blah..? Are all these specified in some rule book? If so, who wrote it? What would happen if we chose not to do these things and did something else? Who decides what is good and what is bad?

The answer to this lies in evolution. We all know we come from apes. Ah, don't be shy about it. :P

It is said that when man is free to do what he wants, he apes another. It may sound funny, but it's actually true. It is easier to follow a system and do what others do as it gives a sense of safety and is approved by his fellow apes. It has already been done by someone else and nothing has happened to him. So I am safe. Why question the methods? Leave things the way they are. As simple as that.

Is it really that simple? Each human being is unique. No two people are the same. Are we willing to give that up just because we get a sense of security and a nod of approval from those around us? Who are they to nod for our actions in the first place? And why should it bother us whether they nod or not? Because we are all dependent creatures. Sad, but true. This thought is instilled in us from the minute we are born. 'Go with the society. You'll be safe and sound.'

Here's a thought. What would have happened if our freedom fighters all decided to do the same thing - adhere to the British rule? It was obviously a safe option. Those who spoke even a word against it were thrown in jail and tortured. In spite of that, why did some of them decide to fight against the system? They did. And we got our freedom. The freedom we don't know how to use.

Freedom is a tricky word. It is given different meanings at different times as per our convenience. Rather, the society's convenience. We don't bother finding out why a section of people decide something is wrong or right and why everyone else has to follow it. Why can't we be the deciding section? Only because we are afraid to do so. Afraid what people might think. Afraid they might outcast us. Is anything going to come out of all this fear? Who is at loss here? We wouldn't be walking if we were afraid we might fall if we stood up. But then, childhood knew no fear. It is in the adult mind that these thoughts creep in.

Naseeruddin Shah's dialogue in 'A Wednesday' is inspiring. When asked why he should bother getting rid of the terrorists when others don't, he says 'What would you do if there were cockroaches in your house? Wouldn't you get rid of them? Why is it that we are not ready to do the same thing when it is in a bigger scale? So many people died in the train blast. But we are not bothered until one of us is in it. I am fine, my family is fine. Why bother? We have all learnt to adjust, be quiet and move on. My wife calls me every few minutes in a day asking if I've eaten, done this, done that.. What she really wants to know is if I am alive and fine. I want my kids to travel in the train and play in the park without this eternal fear of what would happen when. Enough is enough. I decided to step up and clean my country.'

We need not go to this extent. But we definitely can do some small things which would make a small difference in somebody's life. It could even be in our own.

When you have to follow either your heart or you brain, follow your heart. There are less regrets. Things may not be perfect, but you'll at least know it was your choice from your heart and not made for you by someone else. Your love for it will always remain. :)

Having said all this, I am going to continue listening to my SAP trainer, with no clue why. :P

The Theory of Relativity - In The Layman's World!

When Einstein gave us the Theory of Relativity, he was hailed as the Father of Physics. Little did he realize its significance in our everyday life.

The Theory of Relativity in essence says that two events, simultaneous for some observer, may not be simultaneous for another observer. It goes on to extrapolate this with its terms in Physics. So, to put it in simple words, things perceived as something by some people, may not be perceived in the same way by some other people. Seems closer to home? :P

We say happiness is a relative term. Sadness is a relative term. Fear is a relative term. Success is a relative term. Failure is a relative term. Oh, come on! Is there anything that's NOT relative?! I guess not.

Relativity is one of those few things on Earth that has no limit. When I say speed is a relative term, what may be fast for you, may be slow for me. So if you get on my bike and yell 'Hey you are way too fast', I would retort saying 'Really? This is my minimum!'. :P

When a term is relative, everyone's perception of it is correct. Simply because there is no concept of incorrectness. There is no standard, no limit. So why should it bother anybody? Everyone should be happy, right. After all, everyone is right. :P

Sadly, it doesn't work that way. At least for us poor, young people who have to listen to their parents. Our parents believe in the theory of relativity too. Only, in their case, what they say is correct. Not what we say. Reason - they've been around longer! So basically, the theory of relativity fails here. Sorry, Einstein, but our parents don't care what you say. They give a hoot to your theories. They've probably been around longer than you! :P

Our happiness is a relative term as specified by them. Hence, 'Do this, you'll be happy' or 'Study this, you'll have a happy and secure future' or 'Listen to us. We know what will make you happy' or 'Marry Mr. X or Ms. Y. Am sure you'll be happy' and blah blah. We still argue, knowing its futility full well. No Einstein to save us. :(

Problems in the theory, arise in its conflicts. Nobody knows what is the measure to fix on the correct perception. Life in itself, is a relative term to some people. Even if we accept the theory as it is, problems arise when people are not open-minded enough to even think that somebody else's perception may be a better one and that it is okay to give in once in a while.

The problem is not in the theory. It is in our acceptance to others' perceptions of a relative term.

Wish Einstein was alive to clear the doubts, huh? :P