F.R.I.E.N.D.S!!!!! (Part 1)

Being an ardent fan of the comedy series F.R.I.E.N.D.S, I couldn’t help but make a list of my favourite dialogues. This is going to be one long post. So, fellow F.R.I.E.N.D.S lovers, sit back and enjoy. :)

After Rachel cuts all her father’s credit cards.
Monica: Welcome to the real world! It sucks. You're gonna love it!

When Chandler starts smoking again.
Phoebe: Oh, I can't believe you! You've been so good, for three years!
Chandler: And this- is my reward!

What’s omnipotent.
Monica: Hey, Joey, what would you do if you were omnipotent?
Joey: Probably kill myself!
Monica: ..Excuse me?
Joey: Hey, if Little Joey's dead, then I got no reason to live!
Ross: Joey, uh- OMnipotent.
Joey: You are? Ross, I'm sorry..

When they ask Chandler to ask a woman he sees out.
Chandler: Oh yeah, and what would my opening line be? 'Excuse me. Blarrglarrghh.'

The blackout.
Phoebe: Can I borrow the phone? I want to call my apartment and check on my grandma. (to Monica) What's my number?
(Monica and Rachel look at Phoebe strangely.)
Phoebe: Well, I never call me.

When everyone knows the gender of Ross’ baby-to-be-born and he doesn’t want to know. Monica whispers the gender in Joey’s ears and Ross is pissed that everyone knows. It’s a boy.
Monica: I'm sorry, I'm just excited about being an aunt!
Joey: Or an uncle...

Rachel’s new resume.
Ross: Rach, did you proofread these?
Rachel: Uh... yeah, why?
Ross: Uh, nothing, I'm sure they'll be impressed with your excellent compuper skills.
Rachel: Oh my Goood! Oh, do you think it's on all of them?
Joey: Oh no, I'm sure the Xerox machine caught a few.

During a poker game, after Ross comes from the bathroom.
Ross: Alright. Your money's mine, Green.
Rachel: Your fly is open, Geller.

When Monica becomes head chef.
Monica: I'm at work, ordinary day, you know, chop chop chop, saute, saute, saute. All of a sudden, Leon, the manager, calls me into his office. It turns out they fired the head lunch chef, and guess who got the job.
Joey: If it's not you, this is a horrible story.

When Monica starts seeing Richard again.
Chandler: Well, she spent the last six months getting over him, and now she’s celebrating that by going on a date with him.

When Joey talks about a book Rachel is reading.
Joey: Oh, all blank, and no blank, make’s blank a blank blank. Oh no-no-no, no, the end when Jack almost kills them all with that blank, but then at last second they get away. Aww!
Rachel: Joey! I can’t believe you just did that!
Chandler: I can’t believe she cracked your code!

When Joey gets job at the museum.
Joey: No, not really. They give you all the information, it’s uh, it’s like memorizing a script. (Making like a tour guide) "And on your left, you have Tyrannosaurus Rex, a carnivore from the Jurassic period.
Ross: Uh actually Joey, it’s the Cretasous period.
Joey: Yeah but, I can pronounce Jurassic.

When Phoebe decides to become surrogate mother for her brother and his wife.
Phoebe: Well, they said that I had to think about it first, but what is there to think about? I’m gonna be giving them the greatest gift you can possibly give.
Chandler: You’re gonna be carrying their baby and give them a Sony Play Station?

When Monica calls Phoebe at 2 in the morning after breaking up with Richard and cries.
Phoebe: Oh, okay that explains it. I got a call at two in the morning, but all I could hear was, like, this high squeaky sound, so I thought okay it’s like a mouse or a opossum. But then I realized where would a mouse or a opossum get the money to make the phone call.